Student Shares Her Story About Her Road to Recovery

Sophomore+Madison+Meers+holds+a+single+lit+candle+to+signify+her+life.+Madison+is+involved+with+the+school+yearbook+and+works+at+Fazolis.

Credit to Madi Graves

Sophomore Madison Meers holds a single lit candle to signify her life. Madison is involved with the school yearbook and works at Fazolis.

By Priscilla Joel, North Star Editor-in-Chief

Madison came home after a normal school day this past November. But what happened after that was not normal at all. Madison had a good week at school, but ended up in a disagreement with her parents when she got home. Madison had suffered from depression since middle school, but this year, she felt its effects stronger than in the past as she attempted to cope with her self-image and personal problems at home.

“I just kind of felt like things weren’t worth living for anymore.”

These were the thoughts that were going through Meers’ head as she took a handful of Prozac, her depression medication, and stuffed them into her mouth, hoping to take her own life.

“I was so overwhelmed in the situation that I didn’t know what to do,” Madison, who is a sophomore, said.

Luckily, her mother walked into the kitchen where Madison stood soon after and ran to her daughter’s side.

“She shoved her hand down my mouth and got as many as she could out,” Madison said.

Madison wasn’t taken to the hospital until later, when she began to feel sick and nauseous. Madison’s mother did some research on the effects of overdosing on Prozac, then Madison was rushed to the emergency room.

“I couldn’t believe this was happening,” Madison’s mother Jennifer said. “I couldn’t believe we were in the ER. It’s scary. You just want to fix it and make it better for her.”

The hospital called it “situational suicide,” and they had her sit with her mother inside of a small room as Madison and her mother explained to a nurse what had happened.

“Personally, I was very shocked that I actually would do something like that because before, I had thought about it, but I never thought I could actually try to do something to hurt myself, ever, like that,” Madison said. “And, I was very scared about what was going to happen next. After I got to the hospital and stuff, I realized how precious life really is.”

Madison had her blood drawn, which was tested to see how much Prozac was in her blood. Fortunately, she hadn’t swallowed enough pills to require her to get her stomach pumped, however she would feel sick.

“They put me in solitary confinement after that,” Madison said.

The hospital staff took all of Madison’s belongings – jewelry, hair ties, even most of her clothing and had her wear a hospital gown. She was then moved to a room with nothing but a bed and two chairs. Just outside, a hospital staff member sat watching Madison, making sure that she wouldn’t try to harm herself again.

“I think I needed to be there because I felt like maybe this would grab my parents’ attention more to see ‘yeah, I need help’ and that I’m not okay,” Madison said.

Madison was in solitary confinement for about 6-8 hours, until she was discharged to go home, after her parents assured her safety.

“I saw how emotional and hard it was [for my parents] because I’m their oldest child,” Madison said. “I really took to heart how they felt and how they reacted.”

Additionally, one of Madison’s closest friends, Kylie Loveless came to see her as soon as she heard about what had happened.

“I was scared,” Kylie said. “I was worried about her. I wondered why she would do that and, you know, even though somebody may look happy on the outside, it doesn’t always mean that they’re truly happy, and that’s what I think she was going through.”

Kylie visited Madison often and checked on her to make sure she was okay.

“I think of her as a little sister I never had,” Kylie said. “She’s my best friend. I could never imagine losing her when she has so much to live for.”

After Madison came home, she took a week off of school during which she had several doctor, psychiatrist and therapist appointments which helped her cope with the problems she faced. She also received constant support from her friends and family.

“When I first saw her [after her suicide attempt], I just automatically hugged her and I was shaking,” Madison’s boyfriend Anthony Spinaio said. “I saw the hospital band on her arm and I just kept staring at it.”

In the past few months since her suicide attempt, Madison has recovered from her past. Each day is one small step towards her happiness.

“Even if you’re going through therapy or working to get over it, you’re not always going to be happy,” Madison said, “You’ll have your moments, I still have my moments. I still have good and bad days. The good and bad days will never stop, but when I’m having a bad day, I just always remember that good times are coming. It will be okay.”