Resolutions aren’t worth the three weeks they last

Published: December 16, 2008

How long is it going to take you to realize that you’re a conniving fool?

All you do is give people negative hope that they will be able to better themselves in a span of time shorter than Verne Troyer.

I’ll talk to you later, New Years. See you in another year, you jerk.

Eventually, in a few days or weeks or, somehow, months, everyone will come to hate you. Let’s delve into the reasons why…

“If you’re making a New Years resolution,” says senior Kendall Blanzy, “all you’re doing is lying to yourself.” How true. If you’re attempting to quit eating Twinkies this new year, you will fail. They’re deliciousness is over-powering.

“When you’re perfect,” says Spectra teacher Jon Travis, “they’re really difficult to come up with.” Resolutions bring on modesty, too.

Why does a new year bring on a sudden outburst of change in people? It’s just another day that you go around parading weight loss and kindness. If you really want to change who you are and what you do in life, why wait until the last day of every year? If you really feel that you can improve things in your life, then get started on them right away.

OK, I admit it: I used to say I was going to be a better person, turn over a new leaf. But I never even bent over to pick up the leaf. I was just like everyone else.

However, I realized I’m not going to change just by saying that I’m going to change. I, and you, have actually got to go out and “be the change that you want to see,” as John Legend says.

So, if you really want to become something new, just do it. If you think I’m wrong, and that most people stick to their resolutions, then prove it: be one of those people and write me a letter about your change.

Either that, or I’ll hear from you next year.

Feel free to email your responses to [email protected]

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