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Tim Besse Adopts Second Daughter

Tim%2C+Tiffany+and+Evelyn+Besse+pose+for+a+family+photo+with+their+new+daughter+Stella.+%28photo+submitted%29

Tim, Tiffany and Evelyn Besse pose for a family photo with their new daughter Stella. (photo submitted)

By Gracie Bowman

Math teacher Tim Besse and his wife, Tiffany, sit their 5-year-old daughter, Evelyn, on a red loveseat in a hotel lobby in Springfield. As Tim holds the camera in front of his daughter, Tiffany holds a small baby toy out to Evelyn. The 5-year-old sits, confused as to who the baby toy could possibly be for, until her mother tells her she will have a baby sister as of tomorrow. Evelyn jumps into her mother’s arms, as she thanks her repeatedly, and tears are shed at the once in a lifetime moment in the hotel lobby.

The Besses adopted their second daughter, Stella, on Aug. 25. Because the Besses cannot have children of their own, the family adopted their first daughter, Evelyn, as well. Influenced by their faith in God, Tim and Tiffany decided adoption is the best method to grow their family.

“We live a lot by our faith,” Tiffany said. “We wanted to make sure we were honoring our faith. We prayed a whole lot about how we were supposed to build our family, so we did not use any alternative methods to try to have children. We felt like God was telling us to adopt.”

Tim, Tiffany and Evelyn waited for years for their fourth family member, but after they were chosen to adopt Stella, the family had her home in a span of just three days. On Tuesday, Aug. 22, Tim and Tiffany were told to drive to Springfield that following Thursday. They met Stella’s birth mother on Aug. 24, met Stella on Aug. 25, brought her home that night and legally adopted her on Sept. 1.

“It was unbelievable that in 48 hours our lives had completely changed,” Tiffany said. “Our family had increased by one. It was exciting, it was like being a new parent all over again, it was in a very rewarding way, overwhelming. There were so many emotions all in one time. Happiness, joy, a little bit of fear. With all those feelings happening at once, it felt abnormally happy being that uncomfortable.”

The adoption process is different for everyone, in terms of wait time, preferences and steps the adoptive parents take. Parents can wait months to years for news about a child. They can choose to host foster children before adopting. Parents can adopt close to home, or out of the country. When filling out paperwork, parents can choose every detail about the child, or be as lenient as they’d like. Each adoption is unique.

“Everyone’s story is different,” Tim said. “This is our story, but I’ve talked to others that have adopted, and theirs is a whole different story.”

Adoption is a long, thorough process. It takes years for adoptive families to fill out paperwork and schedule home studies where social workers look at the adoptive parents’ home. It also takes time for adoptive parents to be chosen by birth mothers. Tim and Tiffany waited about two to three years for news about their fourth family member, which is around the average wait time of two to seven years.

“It’s a very tedious process, but it is worth it,” Tim said. “It’s worth the time because in the end you have someone to love and someone to give your love to again. You don’t realize how much you can actually love somebody. It’s absolutely overwhelming. The joy, the happiness, the tears. It’s just amazing. It was just amazing at that time to believe it all happened so quickly.”

The process of adopting children is full of rewards and hardships, according to Tim. Sometimes, birth mothers pick parents to be their child’s forever families, but then they change their minds last minute. Parents don’t always qualify to get picked for adoption.

“It’s worth it,” Tiffany said. “It’s worth the pain. It’s worth the disappointment. It’s worth the wait. We’ve had disappointments before, but with lots of prayer and lots of support, you can make it through anything. It’s so amazing.”

Though the family went through difficulties, Tim and Tiffany had the opportunity of growing their family. Without adoption, they wouldn’t have their two daughters, Evelyn and Stella. With all the support from families and friends, they were able to create a beautiful family.

“When I look at my family, my two kids, and when I look at Tim and know how happy and the joy that we feel and this amazing blessing we’ve been given, it’s just amazing,” Tiffany said. “I think we have the best family ever. We’ve been incredibly blessed. Our marriage is stronger because of it. Our family is stronger because of it. I would never take another path on this journey.”