I’m a fixer. Some people are ‘do-ers’ and others are ‘thinkers’. But no. Not me. I’m a fixer.

  Whenever I see a problem, I have a compulsive tendency to need to fix it. No matter what it is. Whether it’s something as simple as a crooked poster on my wall, a spelling error, or a problem amongst friends, I always have to step in and save the day.

  The problem is, well, it’s two things. One: it stresses me out endlessly. And two: I always try and control everything. Every small detail of everyone’s lives. I always want to know what is going on, who’s fighting who, and namely, ‘What can I do to make it better?’

  I become like a little superhero amongst my friends, always taking their burdens on my shoulders.

  This seems all fine and dandy, but trying to control everything is like trying to grab a fistful of sand. The harder you fight to hold it, the tighter you squeeze, the more grains that slip through your fingers, only to be never seen again.
That’s how my life is. I always fight to control my friends and every aspect of my life. But the more I struggle to keep everything in check, the more it all slips away from me, and the less I’m left with. When I try and fix all of my friends’ problems, try to keep them all safe and sound and are making the best decisions for themselves, I not only start neglecting my own problems, but I only end up pushing my friends away, like grains of sand blowing away in the wind.

  So, I’ve decided to start applying the Butterfly Theory to my life. The whole, you take a butterfly and let it go, and if it comes back to you then it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.

  I’m going to start letting things go, relinquishing my attempted control on everything in life, because it only leads to me losing what little control I have. Instead, I’m going to hold sand with an open palm instead of a closed fist. Instead, I’m going to start letting things go, and seeing if they come back to me. If they do, then it was meant to be, and if they don’t, then it never was.