Petite, outgoing, energetic. 16 years old. This is how most would describe sophomore Kiarra Stillman. But what most don’t know is that Kiarra lives with someone who could also be described the exact same way, but 17 years older.

A very old sister? Although that is possible, no, it isn’t her sister. 32-year-old Shelly Stillman is actually her mother. Their relationship, because of the smaller age difference, may seem different from many mother-daughter bonds; they talk like best friends, fight like sisters, but have mutual respect for one another.

“We relate to one another more and I can tell her anything because she’s still young,” said Kiarra. “She understands what it’s like to be young.”

Kiarra and Shelly’s bond has been strengthened throughout the years, and they both push each other to be better people. Shelly is always supportive of Kiarra’s education, and wants her to succeed at school and experience everything about high school that Shelly missed. Kiarra looks up to Shelly as a role model and works hard at school to pursue her dreams.

In 1999, during her junior year of high school at FHN, Shelly and her boyfriend at the time, Dustin Stillman, had Kiarra. Although Shelly’s parents were disappointed after first hearing the news, they eventually supported her in raising Kiarra. They also emphasized to Shelly the importance of continuing her education. Just three weeks after having Kiarra in May of her junior year, Shelly went back to school to take her finals. She graduated on time with the rest of her class in 2000.

Despite the financial struggles that Dustin and Shelly faced in raising Kiarra, they worked around their problems to support their daughter. Dustin worked night shifts, and then watched Kiarra throughout the day so Shelly could go to school. A close friend came over every day around 11 p.m. each night to watch Kiarra overnight.

“Shelly and I’s top priority was supporting Kiarra, and the value Shelly placed on school made me very proud,” Dustin said.

When Kiarra was in seventh grade, Shelly and Dustin decided to break up despite their past together. Shelly became the primary caregiver, and continued to shape her parenting around the importance of education and making smart choices.

“I had to grow up so fast and it was really unfortunate, although I wouldn’t change a thing,” Shelly said. “I want Kiarra to be able to do all of the things I couldn’t do.”

Years of personal, financial and internal struggles of being a teen mother affected Shelly and her family, but the strong mother-daughter bond between Kiarra and Shelly is a result of the challenges they were able to overcome.

“Money was definitely a struggle, I remember living off of VCR’s because we didn’t have cable,” Kiarra said. “But her and my dad always made sure I had what I needed.”

Seeing her mom work towards her goals after everything is what inspires Kiarra every day. Her perseverance towards receiving a good education made Kiarra realize the significance of school. After having Kiarra, Shelly went back to school to earn a college degree. In 2006, she graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in social work.

“The experience has made me very strong to work hard to get what I want,” Shelly said. “I am getting my aster’s degree and am a social worker. One day, I would like to be a therapist and continue helping others.”

For Kiarra, her mom is more than just a mom. She’s a living inspiration and a role model. She feels that her mom’s success, despite her struggles, is motivation to work hard at school.

“She encourages me to go to college and get a good job then have kids because she wants me to go far in life,” Kiarra said.”But I don’t think my mom knows how much she inspires me; when I watch her I think I can do anything I want in my life because she did even with the hardest obstacles thrown at her.”