I was recently scrolling through my Newsfeed, or whatever it’s called these days, and saw a post that said this: “Ladies need to realize that the guys who matter are the ones who don’t care about how big your boobs are, or how big your butt is, or what size pants you wear. For real, there are plenty of us out here!”

Looking past the fact this person was trying to send a message to girls, I think there’s a underlying admonition that can be applied to all people in general.

As human beings, we are always trying to impress people, and the people who say they’re not trying to impress people are generally trying to impress someone by making that person think they don’t feel the need to make themselves look good. Trying to leave a good taste in someone’s mouth is a good practice; it makes people respect you and look at you in a way that could end up furthering you in some way.

However, there is a downside to trying so hard to dazzle a person. When someone spends most of their time trying to gain attention from people, it turns into an obsession. Girls will spend hours on their make up and appearance when guys aren’t going to notice the new style of curls in their hair. Guys will talk a big game and brag about items girls don’t truly care about and exaggerate their skills. The attempt to impress usually ends with stretched truths and surprises. So what can we all do to stop the cycle of trying to make ourselves look overly admirable?

It all begins with how we react to people in the first place. If we start judging them right off the bat, they will undoubtedly feel the need to redeem themselves when that’s not necessary. We hear it all the time: Don’t judge people. It’s absolutely easier said than done. It’s human nature to draw conclusions automatically but it’s a huge problem in society.

Paired with not judging people, it’s important to know that there will be people who judge you. There will never be a day where there aren’t people who feel they have the right to belittle or size up a person. It’s equally important to know that this is only one small period of our lives and the people who try to figure our worth will not matter unless we let it fester. There are 7 billion people on this planet; there are people out there who won’t care if you aren’t a size 2, don’t have huge muscles, or love Jesus with all your heart.

We all know it gets kind of annoying when people are trying to make themselves seem like they’re Albus Dumbledore or something, (being that he’s the coolest person ever) so take a minute with that person and listen to them talk and take an interest. Chances are they’ll back off their pedestal because all they really wanted in the beginning was someone to care anyway. Also, when catch yourself judging someone, take it back. I struggle with judgement just like everybody else. Now when I feel myself judging I literally in my head tell myself to stop it because I don’t know their life story. I don’t know that person. It’s not my place to inspect them with a critical eye. Lastly, give people a chance. There is nothing that shows maturity more than showing you’re willing to take the plunge in any kind of relationship.

Love and Nargles,

Alex