Armed with Cookie Dough Bites in one hand and Sierra Mist in the other, I settled down one Sunday afternoon to see just what the movie, The Pyramid, had to offer me. I went into this movie expecting the worst, and in the end, got what I expected. The movie, though suspenseful and interesting at times, only earns three out of five stars for it’s thin plot and superficial entertainment value.

Set just outside Cairo, Egypt in August of 2013, this “found-footage” style horror flick only had me occasionally on the edge of my seat. The plot follows a father-daughter archaeologist team and their camera crew as they discover a buried pyramid and proceed to explore it. Of course, things go horribly wrong as they realize that they are being hunted by a malevolent something within the pyramid, something that has been there for thousands of years. The actors seemed disinterested and gave mediocre performances, and the scare-tactics relied on jumpy moments and excessive gore. The R- rating apparently came from the gallons of fake blood I’m sure they went through on-set.

As stated before, this movie was completely superficial. It won’t be winning any awards, except for perhaps the Award for Most Moments the Viewer Just Asks Themselves ‘Why?’. Everything that happened was to be expected- the characters shouldn’t go down the tunnel and they go down the tunnel; one guy gets attacked and “surprisingly” dies; the girl who’s fault the entire movie is remains the last alive, if only momentarily, so that she can reflect on the choices she’s made that led her to the exact moment she’s eaten alive. Not only this, but the movie also relied on dark lighting and spooky music to set the tone, and that tone turned out to be ‘annoyed’.

The suspense- building that most horror films utilise was indeed present in The Pyramid, and was effective to an extent. That extent was that if the viewer reminded themselves that the movie was meant to be entertaining and not meaningful, then it wouldn’t be too terrible. But alas, it was.

Some of the most interesting parts of the film for me were the times that the history of the pyramids and the Ancient Egyptian gods was brought up. For history/Egyptian mythology nerds like me, it made the movie a little redeemable. Gods like Anubis, the jackal-headed God of Death, and Osiris, King of the Underworld, played a role in the carrying-out of the film. These moments were informative, for sure, and added to the level of interest. Well, minimally.

Though I’ll admit that I did scream a few times and the suspense kept my eyes glued to the screen, overall, The Pyramid didn’t really have a base to stand on. I would only recommend this film to those that enjoy racing hearts filled with disappointment, and spending money on movies that probably shouldn’t have made it to theaters.