Waking up at 5:30 a.m. sophomore Destiny Murphy lets her daughter Avianna sleep while she gets ready for the day. When the baby wakes up, Destiny has to change her, feed her and get her ready so she can go to her great grandmother’s house or have Destiny’s mom watch her, all before 6:45 a.m. Destiny became pregnant when she was 15 years old with her 16-year-old boyfriend Chris Robinson’s child. They both were surprised by the news that Destiny received when one day at a regular doctor’s checkup after a urine test. Destiny was told she was pregnant and needed to get an ultrasound. That’s when Destiny’s life changed forever.
“I drew a blank,” Destiny said. “I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was upset, but at the same time I was like, ‘Oh, it’s a new life, so I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do for her.’”
When Destiny was six months pregnant, she and Chris broke up, leaving her future daughter without a father figure in her life. After that, Destiny was diagnosed with depression and became physically sick all the time. Shortly after Avianna’s birth, Destiny moved to Missouri to be closer to her family, leaving Chicago and Chris behind. While Destiny is a single mother, she remains untroubled with the help of her mom and family.
“I can say the stereotype of teenagers with children not amounting to anything is so not true,” Destiny’s mother Alison DuClos said. “You can still be successful raising and having kids on your own at a young age. It’s hard, it’s not easy at all doing it alone but I can’t say it’s arguable if she chooses to be a doctor or lawyer. I believe she can achieve anything that is worth having in life. I believe Destiny has a bright future ahead of her because of the outlook she has on life.”
Avianna being born was one moment that Destiny will forever cherish in her life, But one thing she can’t help but think about is what if things could be different, if she had Avianna when she was older.
“I don’t regret getting pregnant, but I regret the timing,” Destiny said. “I feel like if I would have waited, she would have had a better life. I’m not saying I couldn’t give her a good life if I was financially stable, but it would have been easier for me.”
With Destiny becoming a mother at a young age, she’s had to juggle many things such as school work, money and her time. At the moment, since Destiny does not have a job yet, her mother and great grandmother are supporting her and Avianna. Since Destiny is still in high school, her school work is done at school; otherwise it has to be done after Avianna goes to sleep around 8:30 p.m. Destiny has little time to do what she wants anymore.
“Having time for myself basically is one of the hardest things with her [Avianna],” Destiny said. “I can’t even go to the bathroom without her wanting to be in there with me, I can’t even eat by myself, I have to share everything.”
Alison has first-hand experience with what Destiny has been coping with, because the same things have happened to her. Alison had her first child at 17 and had Destiny a month day one, helping her through everything that’s changed in her before she turned 18, and their father left Alison and the children shorty afterwards.
“Everything that Destiny has gone through or is going through, I’ve gone through,” Alison said. “I’ve been there, done that, and can deal with it from an angle and perspective of knowing what’s going to happen before it even happens. Going through all of that, I’m sure Destiny is thinking mom is psychic, like ‘how did she know she was going to get in the trash can’ or ‘how did she know that this was going to happen when it happened.’”
According to Destiny, Alison has been there for her since life. She has been Destiny’s biggest supporter throughout all that she has been going through not only physically but emotionally as well. Alison understands the pain she went through and helps her with problems she faces.
“I talked to her, I listened to her feelings, and tried to get her to understand that in certain situations, you’re going to think about different things as you grow, and made her see that they make us grow in life,” Alison said. “You mourn, you cry, you let that emotion out and move forward, and use that to make you stronger.”
Destiny has experienced harsh judgement from mothers because of her decisions, but she doesn’t let people get to her. She knows that what she did was right for her, because she got Avianna out of it all.
“I always get stares,” Destiny said. “People are a lot harsher on me, and it’s difficult, but at the same time, I kind of understood what
was going to happen. I kind of ignored it. I knew what I did was not acceptable for society, but I have to do what I have to do.”
Even with all the difficulties Destiny has faced, she continues to be positive about her life and Avianna’s as well. She believes that with
everything that has happened, she got a beautiful little girl by her side and would not trade her for the world. She plans to go to college and possibly get a profession involved in forensics while raising Avianna.
“I’m still a kid, I’m still learning myself, but at the same time, I have to teach her what’s right and wrong and it’s difficult at times,” Destiny said. ”Really, God put babies out here to show a lesson.”
