“Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?” No. No I am not. Because sleigh bells don’t ring until there’s a full coating of snow. In Missouri, snow doesn’t show up until at least December, and usually lasts until March. No snow in November means the holidays are not here yet.

Another thing, in our lovely state of Misery, fall only really lasts for 2 weeks, if it even manages to last that long. My favorite fall pastime? Two words: Crunchy. Leaves. Jumping on the brown and orange fallen foliage provides a boost of serotonin. Attempting to make the highest leaf pile ever (which was 17 feet high and weighed 10 tons) is an option, but don’t plan on beating that world record anytime soon.

Using the argument “Christmas is a season” doesn’t apply here either. According to timeanddate.com, fall lasts from the Autumn Equinox (September 22) to the Winter Solstice (December 21). Calling Christmas a season means that no holiday music should be played until December 21. I don’t think it should go that far, but definitely it shouldn’t start before Thanksgiving.

Once holiday music kicks in, that means the year is coming to an end and you better start working on putting on some weight or getting disorganized so you can set a new years resolution to “improve yourself”. No one really wants the year to end (unless it’s 2020, that was a train wreck), and holiday music tricks you into thinking the year is not actually over, then hits you like a bus when you realize you only have six days left before the new year starts.

In the end, you can listen to holiday music whenever you want, but according to actual statistics and my personal bias, holiday music should not be played before Thanksgiving in order to maintain everyone’s sanity.