To preface, this editorial may relate to you in every way or it may not relate to you at all. As we talk about high school couples, not every generalization we pose may reflect you and your partner or it may be you two down to a tee. Whatever the case may be, insert yourself into the situations posed and allow yourself to reflect on your own experiences and relationships. 

“Oh you’ve been dating for three months, that’s cute.”

“You’ll probably break up in a week.”

“They’re just kids, what do they know?”

The answer to that question is not much. Sometimes we don’t know a lot when we’re young, we’re only in high school after all. Most high school students don’t have to worry about the responsibilities of adult life yet. We’re not worried about getting married, moving in, having kids. Those aren’t the thoughts on the forefront of most high school couples minds. When high schoolers enter relationships, the intent isn’t for money or for status, it’s because of the connection you feel with the other person. That genuine connection is often overshadowed by adult relationships, getting married and having children. Often, because teens aren’t taking major relationship steps, these relationships are seen as childish and immature. When in reality, high schoolers can have some of the most honest and genuine relationships that aren’t being threatened by the burdens of adult life.

As a couple gets married, has kids and settles down, the spark that brought them together may dim. The excitement of reaching all these relationship milestones loses its importance as the drudgery of life can batter a married couple. Often, adult couples tend to crave space and vacations apart from each other. This may seem alien to high schoolers. Why would a couple want to spend time apart? But that’s just the thing that bring people together; the space. 

People need time apart to miss each other, to feel again what it’s like to want the other person. Teenage couples naturally experience space on a day to day basis as they are apart from each other at home, at school or experience long distance relationships. To a certain extent, space is what makes love grow fonder. Because teen couples aren’t together 24/7 like most adult couples, they cherish the time they get to spend together. That’s how high schoolers maintain that spark and excitement, the space that keeps them apart brings them together.

When high school sweethearts get married and move through life together, they always have the knowledge that they were each other’s first loves. Everyone remembers their first love and often, it was in high school. The whole point of a high school relationship is to have fun. Nobody in high school enters into a relationship wanting kids or wanting marriage immediately. They go into a relationship for the fun of experiencing adolescent milestones with someone they like. That is the genuine part of a high school relationship that people can look back on and reminisce about. 

High school relationships are far from perfect, however. Teens make many mistakes in navigating the complexities of relationships. Sometimes they may lack communication skills or they may seek out a partner for nothing more than sexual activities. Whatever the mistakes may be, teens are allowed to make them. Adult relationships often have pressures to be perfect. Adult relationships may have way more riding on them than teenage couples. But when we’re teenagers, we are allowed to make mistakes with our partners that most likely will not result in serious consequences. Knowing that the both of you are learning as you go and neither of you are perfect is such a freeing aspect of teen relationships. And that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect and neither are relationships. But as long as teenage couples try their best to maintain a happy relationship, that’s the most genuine high school connection a teenager can have. 

So, next time when your relationships are discounted and dismissed as ‘just a phase’, remember that adults and teens can be in very different worlds. What may mean the world to you might seem like a phase to an adult. But it’s important to know that every relationship you’re in where effort is put forth by both parties, is valuable and meaningful. It’s not just a phase for you. To you, it may be what keeps you going or what motivates you to wake up in the morning. And while we’re not getting married and buying houses and setting up retirement plans together, we’re having fun being teenagers and experiencing the trials and tribulations of high school relationships.