Kailynn Bockerstette’s day is filled with laughter and fun as she drives to school with a hot pink rabbit Jellycat named Nicki buckled in beside her. As a junior in high school, Bockerstette’s interests are more unique than others her age, one of them being a Jellycat collection that comes with the copious amount of money she has spent on her collection.
“I’ve probably spent well over $500 on Jellycats,” Bockerstette says, “They appeal to me because they come in such odd things like, you’d never expect to see a cauliflower stuffed animal.”
For someone her age, it might be frowned upon to dedicate this much time and money to a few stuffed animals, but to Bockerstette, it’s much deeper than a few stitches and button eyes. Like many other adolescents, Bockerstette’s life isn’t always easy. Many teens struggle with different aspects in life, Although Bockerstette has other outlets like speaking to her parents or her therapist, she’s found additional ways on her own. For example, she finds comfort in Nicki.
“If you see Kailynn without Nicki, then it just isn’t [her],” Bella Vollmer, a longtime friend of Bockerstette, said.
Bockerstette is always seen with Nicki, whether in a candid TikTok or on her drive to school. One morning, Bockerstette was driving to pick up her friend Logan Vollmer for school, but when he went to sit, someone had taken his spot.
“I first became aware of Kailynn’s collection when I got in her car one day and there was one buckled in the passenger seat,” Logan Vollmer said.
What he had seen was Nicki, buckled in beside Bockerstette. Another day, Bockerstette’s government class had a field trip, again, she needed Nicki by her side.
“At first I thought it was funny, our whole government table laughed. But it made me realize how much this item helps her cope with other internal conflicts,”
Haar said. Bockerstette’s mother, Angela Cochran, has seen the impact of these stuffies go from a fixation on toys as a child to a life-changing coping mechanism.
“She’s always had stuffed animals, as soon as we got her her full size bed, from the toddler bed, it was just nothing but stuffed animals,” Cochran said. “I got rid of one stuffed animal, she was four years old, and she still remembers it. It was a 4-foot-tall dinosaur, we donated it during the Joplin tornadoes, and to this day she still talks about the dinosaur.”
These internal conflicts mentioned represent the mental health struggles many teens go through. Bockerstette has struggled with attention deficit disorder or ADD since she was a kid; she is also diagnosed with anxiety. Every day she faces a new challenge. In the face of these challenges, Nicki provides more than just a laugh to Bockerstette and her friends, she brings her peace.
“I feel like my brain is always going, it never slows down, so it’s nice to have that physical reminder with me,” Bockerstette said.
As for all moms, it was hard for Cochran to watch her daughter grow up with these challenges, feeling like you can only do so much for the person you love the most. However, she was able to watch how much Kailynn’s appreciation twords her collectables grew into a life lesson she will hold onto forever.
“When you struggle with anxiety and ADD, your thoughts can really travel on their own and a lot of times you can’t really get ahold of that,” Cochran said. “And so when she has something with her that’s so familiar it can help bring back her mind to a place where she has more control. I think that’s really important for her, especially as we explore new medications and other sources of relief.”
Her anxiety has been a direct cause of a reoccuring fear of Bockerstettes, the thought of getting sick in public. It randomly spawns and drowns her mind. It makes simple responsibilities a challenge, along with going to school, focusing on work and even hanging out with friends. Sometimes to the point where Bockerstette will feel physically sick, but the familiar scent of home, family and comfort is just what Bockerstette needs in times like those.
“I would say I have very bad anxiety, and when I have my stuffed animals with me they keep me in touch with reality and so I’m not ‘freaking out’ as much,” Bockerstette said.“They bring me a great sense of joy, seeing their smiley faces all the time, and how soft and cuddly they are. It just makes me so happy that they are always happy.”
