By Abigail Keathley

Science states that at the center of the Earth lies a fiery core of magma. Who are we to argue with science? Just because something seems cool, it doesn’t make it true (although I don’t see what’s uncool about a big ball of lava).

There is no way any vaguely humanoid organism—especially a gremlin—could live under lava. Those temperatures are just too extreme, and could not sustain life unless it was specifically evolved to withstand extreme temperatures. Furthermore, why would they even want to live in such extreme conditions? It would make life very difficult to enjoy. For example, it would be impossible for them to have swimming pools, because any water would just evaporate due to the extreme temperatures. Why live if you can’t have pool parties?

Lastly, if there was a species living in the center of the Earth, would it be ethical to make contact with them? Mankind has a long, dark history of colonization and oppressing people native to the places they conquered. Personally, I would rather fall in lava than put a whole civilization at risk of being conquered and having their culture suppressed.

“You would dig into lava, because at the core there is molten lava,” said senior Rumesa Qalbani.